"But ah'm not afraid of dyin'. Cause I know that when I get to heaven there are gonna be these wonderful trees, and ah'm gonna climb them. But you know what? Instead of leaves and flowers, those trees are gonna have fried eggs, and delicious Virginia ham, and big heaping bowls of biscuits and sausage gravy. And one day, Sammy, you're gonna meet me there, and we're gonna climb those breakfast trees together, and it's gonna be delicious and we're gonna be happy until the end of time."

9.19.2006

97% Chum Free

Ahoy. What I've learned so far this week:

-A brake overhaul be worth precisely t' same amount as a 400 GB hard drive. T' t' cent, tax and/or shippin' included when necessary. (Sources: Midas, Newegg)

-There be no such thin' as a twenty-minute nap, don't kid yourself. Drink a cup o' coffee and suck it up. (Consistent with previous findin's, file under "old habits":crossreference: "die hard")

-Use your parkin' brake. All t' time. Arrrr.

-Me pirate name is "Catherine Hagerty Rough Tougue" and I intend to use it today (after smart five hour nap). I'll be goin' by Caty Rough Tongue for short. My ship be "The Damned Strumpet", just as soon as I get her from t' shipyard. So avast ye lubbers! Strapon the dildos! Batten down the butt plug! You and you grab a cock ring, and meet me on the poop deck!

-Me inner pirate be more Dave Attell than Davy Jones. What's it to ye?

posted by glasshole at 1:42 AM