Dear God, Are You There?
I have but one little request: Stop shitting on me and those I love. We've had our fill for awhile, thanks. You're smiting the wrong people. In fact, what's up with the smiting altogether? Try those asshats who are using your name for personal and political gain, there are tons of them. My friends are good people, just leave them alone, okay?
And when is judgement day, already? I'm trying to plan out a life here. All I need is a tentative date so I can get my repentance in order, nothing firm. Work with me here.
I'm still sleeping in on Sundays until I hear from you.
Not Yours Truly,
P.S.- Amen, or some crap.