"But ah'm not afraid of dyin'. Cause I know that when I get to heaven there are gonna be these wonderful trees, and ah'm gonna climb them. But you know what? Instead of leaves and flowers, those trees are gonna have fried eggs, and delicious Virginia ham, and big heaping bowls of biscuits and sausage gravy. And one day, Sammy, you're gonna meet me there, and we're gonna climb those breakfast trees together, and it's gonna be delicious and we're gonna be happy until the end of time."

10.25.2004

A small town outside Gary, Indiana

Thanks to everyone who has sent their love and sympathies. The rest of you are assholes.
I kid, of course, I love you all dearly. The truth is, I lost my grandmother to what was only recently diagnosed as Alzheimer's years ago. With her will go the hope of ever having her look at me with recognition of who I am today, but I seem permanently stuck in her mind as that silly little kid who would visit in the summers and lay waste to her marshmallow jar. Alzheimer's is the most evil disease; you go on living, but everyday you lose a bit of what makes that life your own. I don't know that I could take watching that happen to my parents, but I live with the fear that I will, and that may be the most difficult thing for me in all of this.

Enough of the sad stuff. If all goes well, we'll be going to Chicago for SOFA in two weeks. I've been waiting for a good road trip and all my favorite friends at school are planning to go; Anna, Rush, Jessie and I are taking the big purple van. Ross is a workaholic killjoy who is taking that weekend off from work to work. I've never been to Chicago, I wish I could just hit the fast forward button through the next two weeks.