Standing next to the open casket containing the papier-mache reproduction of my grandmother, my mother the ordained minister confided in my she hadn't been quite sure there was a heaven until her mother passed. Obviously not the time to launch into theological discussion, but...what? I think this further reinforces my idea that religious people tend to draw their strength of belief from whichever idea hurts less. The choice between seeing her mother again one day and a big black void was all she needed to make that leap of faith, even after her years of theological study. It made me more sad than I was already. I think she lives for the idea that one day, my brothers and I will be "born again" and we'll all resume our active church lives that characterized our childhood. How do I tell her it's just not going to happen?
I watched The Royal Tenenbaums no less than four times last week. Partially because we got a new DVD player and it's one of the few DVD's we have, and I was on an escapist kick. I was also heavily identifying with its themes, estrangement, reconcilliation, life, death, taxes, mescaline, everything about Margot, barring the wooden finger, and the overall general family dysfunction. And my family lived up to its reputation on Saturday. No tragic family event would be complete without someone pulling me aside to tell me about someone else's impending incarceration. In this case, those someones were my two brothers.
I was invited to five parties on Saturday night, which was great, except I couldn't attend any of them. This was the first (and hopefully last) Halloween that passed me by entirely. At least I got to carve pumpkins, and watch movies with Anna and Ross Thursday night. I haven't heard much from the other fronts, but I completely missed out on the nudity at the Craft Center party. I'm glad I missed out on seeing Charly's penis, but I'll never forgive myself for missing Charity and Anna dancing topless.
And now Anna's going to kill me.
Which, depending on tomorrow's outcome, may actually be a welcome and worthwhile activity.