"But ah'm not afraid of dyin'. Cause I know that when I get to heaven there are gonna be these wonderful trees, and ah'm gonna climb them. But you know what? Instead of leaves and flowers, those trees are gonna have fried eggs, and delicious Virginia ham, and big heaping bowls of biscuits and sausage gravy. And one day, Sammy, you're gonna meet me there, and we're gonna climb those breakfast trees together, and it's gonna be delicious and we're gonna be happy until the end of time."

12.15.2004

Wrap it Up and Keep it There

happiness n 1: state of well-being characterized by emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy. 2: emotions experienced when in a state of well-being

A constant theme in my life seemes to be the accusation that I'm not happy, or at least happy enough, whatever that means. More than one partner (most especially the current administration) has lamented he felt he wasn't "making me happy" as though it were a perpetual state you're either in or not. I'm sorry, but I have quite a few issues surrounding a statement like that. Firstly, in the interest sorting things out, I looked at a few dictionary definitions of happy, happiness, happier, happiest, etc. I failed to find a satisfyingly quantitative or qualitative analysis of the word, so I fail to understand how one would go about making someone so. Especially in perpetuity. That seems, to me, an impossible amount of responsibility.
Hey, some people might need to be happy all the time, but I tend to think that would make life imcredibly dull. In my own defense, I generally find myself in a state of well-being characterized by emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy, so the dictionary seems to believe I'm happy enough. As the high prophet Denis Leary once said, "happiness comes in small doses, folks. It's a cigarette, or a chocolate chip cookie, or a five-second orgasm. That's it, okay?!? You cum, you eat the cookie, you smoke the butt, you go to sleep, you get up in the morning and go to fucking work, okay?!?"
Sure, I yell at the nightly news. I get a little miffed when story after story might as well say "people everywhere are idiots who throw money at the symptoms of problems rather than use an ounce of common sense to root out the cause of said problems," or worse, "people everywhere are idiots who throw other people's money at the symptoms of problems because they know deep in their hearts what the cause is, but it doesn't jive with the values put forth in their chosen religious texts and therefore must not be acknowleged." Yeah, that puts a bit of a damper on my intense joy sometimes.
My point, and I think I have one, is that I feel as though I, and I alone, am responsible for defining happiness for myself, finding it, and worrying if I fail in that endeavor.
That said, I certainly believe people can go a long way in contributing to the happiness of others. Having more friends than I can keep track of brings me an insane amount of contentment, and that two of them have decided to get married elicits something that puts intense joy to shame.
I know I've gone a long way just to say a few congratulations here, but to my favorite sibling, Anna, and to my new favorite sibling-in-law to be, Randy, I wish you absolutely the best of everything. Someday (when you're good and ready, of course) your progeny will take over the world and make it a better place for everyone, if you should fail to do it first, and I'm not so sure you will (fail, that is). I love you both, and I am ridiculously happy for you.
In fact, I'm just happy.