I Am Jack's Presynaptic Cell.
I'll start by mentioning it's past 6 am and I've been up for awhile (somewhere between 7:03 am and 12:47 pm yesterday, depending on your definition of "up"). Please don't feel obligated to read this.
A typical day for me has lately gone something like this:
- 7:03 am - alarm goes off because I can't stand to set the thing for a nice round number, naively hoping I'll be "surprised" by the wacky time into waking up and getting a jump on the day. Whatthefuckever. Thus begins my first ritual of the day, "Snooze Hour-and-a-Half"
- 8:24 am - some cheery fucker in the Eastern time zone on his/her third cup of coffee IM's me. Lacking the conscious ability to come up with something clever, and slightly pissed at being beaten by three minutes to Snooze #7, I manage something along the lines of "I love you too, mom. Now fuck right off."
- 8:52 am- 'If I get up right now, I can make it to class on time. Except I'm filthy because I was too lazy to shower last night. I can be a few minutes late for the sake of hygiene.'
- 8:55 am - Turn on shower. Lean against the wall and watch it run for a few minutes.
- 8:57 am - 'Oh fuck this.'
- 8:58 am - Back to bed.
- 12:47 pm - Awake at the sound of a leaf blower outside bedroom window. "WTF???? @#@!$%^%&&*^#$#! I did it Again? Seriously?" Discover IM on desktop I have no recollection of writing. Send apology to mother. Bound out of bed and simultaneously dress and berate myself for being such a loser.
- 12:53 pm - eat lunch during three-minute race to work. Berate self for staying up so late.
- 1:30 pm - complete day's work
- 1:31 pm - commence desk nap
- 1:59 pm - chat up people with real jobs, complain about "work"
- 2:27 pm - eat cookies boss's mom sent, look busy
- 3:02 pm - log somewhere between four and six hours on time sheet, sneak out
- 3:08 pm - naptime
- 5:14 pm - feel guilty for having done NOTHING, resolve to work in the studio all night as punishment
- 5:42 pm - resolve to go to studio right after dinner
- 6:29 pm - right after checking e-mail
- 7:13 pm - right after Myspace time
- 7:53 pm - right after this article
- 8:46 pm - H'Caust and Lunchy are putting more thought into Studio 60 than Sorkin, I'm afraid. Like, way more. Also I feel really dumb, because they are, after all, talking about a television show. That I watch. And I'm still struggling to keep up with them.
- 9:12 pm - who am I kidding? Begin cycle of guilt and self-loathing anew/read some forums
- 10:30 - Ramen attack!
- 10:37 - Ooh, chat friends!
- 11:10 pm - Hey look! Netflix!
- 1:07 am - What, in dog's name, possessed me to rent that?
- 1:10 am - let's find out what the internet has to say about anything and everything frivolous and trivial!
- 5:04 am - reluctantly nod off
- 7:03 am - Snooze Hour-and-a-half
It's 6:43 am.
I am Jack's complete lack of surprise.