"But ah'm not afraid of dyin'. Cause I know that when I get to heaven there are gonna be these wonderful trees, and ah'm gonna climb them. But you know what? Instead of leaves and flowers, those trees are gonna have fried eggs, and delicious Virginia ham, and big heaping bowls of biscuits and sausage gravy. And one day, Sammy, you're gonna meet me there, and we're gonna climb those breakfast trees together, and it's gonna be delicious and we're gonna be happy until the end of time."


Case in Point

"Hey, wouldn't it be funny if they threw an election and one party won because of its firm commitment to moral values, a faith-based worldview and a stand against such repugnant deviancy as gay marriage? And wouldn't it be even more hysterical if some of that party's loudest advocates of moral values had in fact been boinking mules and watermelons, and treating their wives like prostitutes?"

-- Rebecca Traister

P.S.- No, I don't actually anticipate you'll read all three articles. They're long. But amusing and/or sickening.