"But ah'm not afraid of dyin'. Cause I know that when I get to heaven there are gonna be these wonderful trees, and ah'm gonna climb them. But you know what? Instead of leaves and flowers, those trees are gonna have fried eggs, and delicious Virginia ham, and big heaping bowls of biscuits and sausage gravy. And one day, Sammy, you're gonna meet me there, and we're gonna climb those breakfast trees together, and it's gonna be delicious and we're gonna be happy until the end of time."

10.11.2005

You Can't See Titties on the Radio

Variation on a much-beloved theme.
Go to google and type in "(your name) needs". Let the hilarity ensue.

-Cara needs to know more about the exact speakers you're using.
-Cara needs to diversify in order to gain legitimacy.
-Cara needs sex like she needs to be skinnier.
-Cara needs 34 tablets of phenobarbitone a day along with potassium bromide.
-Cara needs to figure out what she wants in life. Either quit sleeping around and settle down with one man — who she might not get to see for four painfully long months — or quit calling him up and crying to him. Jared’s obviously not over Cara, and it’s flat out cruel of her to tell him about all her sexcapades.
-Cara needs money for her future.
-Cara needs to place a $150 deposit to reserve the restaurant.
-CARA NEEDS A SENATE VOTE. (yesss!)

Carry on.

posted by glasshole at 9:16 PM