"But ah'm not afraid of dyin'. Cause I know that when I get to heaven there are gonna be these wonderful trees, and ah'm gonna climb them. But you know what? Instead of leaves and flowers, those trees are gonna have fried eggs, and delicious Virginia ham, and big heaping bowls of biscuits and sausage gravy. And one day, Sammy, you're gonna meet me there, and we're gonna climb those breakfast trees together, and it's gonna be delicious and we're gonna be happy until the end of time."


FWDs from Grandma, Part 1

As fun as it is to see my post threatening to start posting again (from what, last year?) on the blogrolls of my friends, I thought we'd try something different for a while. See, like most modern kids born in The South, I come from a hilariously long line of good ol' fashion Red State stock. Someone, probably some well-meaning, church-going soul decided to teach my paternal grandmother about TEH INTERWEBS. Now, about once a day I get a FWD: FWD: FWD: from Grandma. Some days it's a touching slideshow about friendship, or picture of kittens with inspirational platitudes, but most days it runs along the lines of HALP! OUR PRESIDENT IS A COMMIE NEGRO SOCIALIST LIBERAL AND WE NEED TO PRAY RIL HARD! When the latter happens, I am usually so riled up I fire off a scathing response. In the interest of family peace, like those letters you used to write your crush in junior high, they are never sent. But I do have a blog I'm pretty sure she doesn't know about.
And Away We GO!

On Jul 17, 2009, at 2:35 PM, (GRANDMA REDACTED) wrote:

Going beyond disrespect

The movie "Corpus Christi" is due to be released this June to August. A disgusting film set to appear in America later this year depicts Jesus and his disciples as homosexuals! As a play, this has already been in theatres for a while. It's called "Corpus Christi" which means "The Body of Christ". It's revolting mockery of our Lord. But we can make a difference. That's why I am sending this e-mail to you. If you do send this around, we just might be able to prevent this film from showing in America. Let's stand for what we believe in and stop the mockery of Jesus Christour Savior. Where do we stand as Christians? At the risk of a bit of inconvenience, I'm forwarding this to all I think would appreciate it, too. Please help us prevent such offenses against our Lord. There is no petition to sign, no time limit, or minimum number of people to send this to. It will take you less than 2 minutes! If you are not interested and do not have the 2 minutes it will take to do this, please don't complain when God does not have time for you because He is far busier than we are. Hey, it's worth a shot! Apparently, some regions in Europe have already banned the film. All we need is a lot of prayer and a lot of e-mails.



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Dear Nana,
I forwarded this to my good friend, Joe. Joe is an atheist homosexual who once directed, and starred in, the stage version of Corpus Christi. I'm sure your loving words will make him see the error in his ways and turn to the loving arms of Christ and His Followers. And thanks for the heads up, I'll be sure to see it an extra time just for you.
I love all people, including homosexuals, and I don't believe in god. If you have any forwards that are suited to these interests, please keep me in mind.
Oh, and check out this awesome website I found. I think you'll really find it useful!

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