"But ah'm not afraid of dyin'. Cause I know that when I get to heaven there are gonna be these wonderful trees, and ah'm gonna climb them. But you know what? Instead of leaves and flowers, those trees are gonna have fried eggs, and delicious Virginia ham, and big heaping bowls of biscuits and sausage gravy. And one day, Sammy, you're gonna meet me there, and we're gonna climb those breakfast trees together, and it's gonna be delicious and we're gonna be happy until the end of time."


Now Go Get Some Strange Ass

I saw The Wedding Crashers a few nights ago. I was going re-cap it for you here, but this is more accurate than anything I could spew in your general direction. I will reiterate the "go see it now" part, though. Seriously. And give me a call when you do.


"About the Zote What Can Be Said?

There was just one, and now it's dead."

A week of literary note, to be sure. Everyone is reading "the new one." Everyone, that is, but your humble narrator. I promise I didn't set out to be the only person on the planet who hasn't read a single installment of the Harry Potter saga, but for one week out of each year, it seems, I'm doomed to this lonesome existence. Now the task of catching up on all six in the next year seems a trifle daunting. But all is well, because my long missing collection of Edward Gorey books has recently resurfaced, and I've spent a good portion of today reuniting with my beloved Amphigoreys. I'll take sunken-eyed Edwardian children suffering cruel fates at the hands of evil plants, drunkards, and has-been ballerinas over silly Hogwarts any day.

And yes, I understand I've just been disowned by virtually everyone I've ever had the pleasure to call a friend (or lover). Except maybe Chad. I hope not anyway, because then I'll never get that His Dark Materials set he promised :)

I've just returned from lunching at Le Wok Magique with Jesse, where Betty continues to have no earthly clue who I am. This, in spite of frequenting her fine establishment going on a decade. Today she thought I was Jesse's sister, a compliment I accepted heartily, to be sure. Next week, I'll be Adam's aunt.

Read: Lullaby - Chuck Palahnuik
Reading: Kiln People - David Brin
Re-reading: Amphigorey Also - Edward Gorey


The Pirate with the Red Polka-Dot Rainboots

Yargh! I have been, quite literally, swabbing the deck all day.


Obee Kaybee

You ever spend several weeks coming across great post titles right and left, and then entirely blanking when you finally post? Me either.

I really never understood why people hate the dentist so much. Until today. 26 years without a cavity, never knowing the thrill of having someone stick a flexshaft in your mouth and DRILL INSIDE YOUR HEAD. Until today. 3 times. Only one was an actual cavity (and a tiny baby at that) but they decided while they were in there they'd attack some, ahem, flaws that have been giving my mouth it's character since I was small. I stibll can't feebl my fabace, and I look slightly more unhappy than usual. Nothing is more awesome.

I've been a little unwilling to post as of late. While my private life (is there such a thing anymore?) is chock full of niceties and exciting developments, the public "me" has been taking some well-deserved time off. It's an incredibly welcome change. I'm still highly unemployed, two of my bestest friends in the whole wide world (and the vast majority of the galaxy) have moved far, far away, and it's too damn humid. Fortunately, these seem to be my only complaints, and even they tend to be overshadowed by the gargantuan amount of bliss in which I've been enveloped as of late. Who can post with so little to bitch about? It's unheard of.

Besides? JESSE IS COMING BACK! Like SOON! Yay for that! Where's the massive party? Do I hear drive-in? Because I just looked and they're playing The Fantastic Four, AND Mr. And Mrs. Smith. I feel like we really have no choice in the matter. Hit up the comment thread.