"But ah'm not afraid of dyin'. Cause I know that when I get to heaven there are gonna be these wonderful trees, and ah'm gonna climb them. But you know what? Instead of leaves and flowers, those trees are gonna have fried eggs, and delicious Virginia ham, and big heaping bowls of biscuits and sausage gravy. And one day, Sammy, you're gonna meet me there, and we're gonna climb those breakfast trees together, and it's gonna be delicious and we're gonna be happy until the end of time."


My head will explode in 5..4..3..2..

I could do without the Michael Savages of the world. Really, how can one be so proud of such intolerance? I sure can't wait for the day when we hate people based on the content of their character and not the color of their skin or religious affiliation. To the terrorists of the world, thanks for trying to send a wake-up call, may I suggest another attempt? I'm sorry we didn't quite get it. I'm sure we'd be more sympathetic to whatever cause you were trying to promote by blowing up those towering symbols of wealth and greed if you and your friends weren't so, well, dark-skinned. And non-Christian. You know we're just not down with that. You must really hate freedom.

I don't mean to trivialize the deaths of the roughly 2,976 we lost in the attacks, but how were they more important than the more than 3,000 Afghans and 9,100 to 11,500 Iraqis we've killed since that day? More stock options? Healthier 401K? How many "subhumans" (to use my buddy Savage's terminology)do we have to kill to bring those Pentagon and WTC people back? Well, this guy says it more eloquently than I ever could.

Meanwhile, congrats to an American we can be proud of. Go Michael Moore. No doubt my favorite pundits will offer up your latest cinematic triumph as another example of how stupid the French are. I wish you luck in finding a distributor for your film, because I'd love to be allowed to see it. You know, because I live in the country that is a beacon of freedom and democracy in this dark world, and we're allowed to express our beliefs, especially when those beliefs are based on fact. As long as it doesn't affect the tax benefits of a corporation that made Michael Eisner $954 million between 1992 and 2002. I'm no math major, but I'm pretty sure that averages to about $1.8 million a week. A WEEK!!!! This is the guy who decides whether we or not we get to see the film that won the Palme d'Or at Cannes, based on what he thinks the brother of the president will do if he allows it to be released. Who doesn't love this country???

I bet if Rush Limbaugh made a movie about John Kerry's unpaid parking tickets in 1975, Eisner would have pushed it out months ago, avec daily free screenings paid out of his own pocket, and an extended edition DVD available at the corner video store by mid-October.

God Bless US, and no one else.

Seriously, about that expatriation....